Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Slut skills are useful in every country.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
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Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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