Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Can I color on your dick again?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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