I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
