Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Randomize