a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
