I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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