Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
