Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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