I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Such a big mess for such a small penis
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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