Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize