You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
