in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
