he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We're too hungover to prance.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
