I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
