You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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