the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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