I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
