yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
