I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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