As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
