One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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