Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
