Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
