Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
