never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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