you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
