i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
