I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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