there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
