so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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