One girl and one boy is just not enough.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
