why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
