I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
