Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
