she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
