The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
