Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
