if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
