I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
