garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
