im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
