oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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