i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I need to calm my uterus...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
