My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I will be naked everywhere
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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