real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
