Christians are straight up FREAKS
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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