Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize