i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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