Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
