It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
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He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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