I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
