He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
