So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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