i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Hippo gnu deer
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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