how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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