Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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