I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
