Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
