If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
