We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Your cock deserves a montage
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
