this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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