First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
