She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
