yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
