This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize