wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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