I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
