And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
