do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
