the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
