My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
